My Journey to the New York Bar - Focus During the Holidays

When I logged into Facebook three days ago, an “On This Day” picture posted three years ago, popped up. It was a selfie picture I took on a Sunday afternoon with my study materials on the dinning room table, just before I started studying for a few hours. It was during the start of the Christmas holidays and I was taking advantage of the holiday season to fit in some quality study time.

I was thinking that during this holiday season, many people here in the UK (and in other parts of the world) have time off work until the 7th of January. Many are using this time to unwind from what has been a very busy and even stressful year; catching up with sleep; spending time with friends and family and just enjoying the time they have off work.

I’m all about taking time out to unwind, rest and spend time with family. However, I’m not all about using the holiday season as an excuse not to do anything at all; leaving everything until the New Year! There are some things that we really need to get done now, before the New Year, to make way for new things to take place or so that we can move on to the next thing.

Many times people around me ‘advised’ me not to work so hard, to enjoy my time off etc. I believe some said this with good intentions so that I wouldn’t burn myself out completely (which by the way, I did have Christmas Day, Boxing day and New Year’s day off, to rest) however, I had exams to prepare for, which after the Christmas holidays, would only be a month or so away. I couldn’t afford to take the whole holiday season off like everybody else around me.

With all due respect, they were not on the same path as me, so therefore, they couldn’t understand my grind and the hard work I still needed to put in, regardless of the season or time of the year it was.

It is the same with you who are sitting or resitting the bar exams or any other exams in the coming months or starting a business and working on achieving something within the next few months. We are not living the same life as those around us. Our commitments and responsibilities are different and therefore, the time we have off and how we make use of our time will also be different to others.

By all means, take time out to rest and enjoy time with those around you, but don’t forget that you have a goal to work towards within the first few weeks and months of 2019 and only by putting in the hard work now, will you achieve the results you want. No one can do this for you, only you can, so be wise with your time and make the most of it.

Work hard now and play later!

My Journey to the New York Bar - Upped My Game

Now that I knew which areas of the substantive law I needed to strengthen my knowledge on, I got myself organised by creating a study plan. I really went to town with my study plan, setting out certain days of the week to study specific topics and divided each session between revising notes and doing both multiple choice questions and essay questions for each topic.

 The areas of law where I felt more confident in, I studied on the days I worked, whereas, the areas of law where I knew I needed to spend more time on, I used Thursdays and Fridays to focus on them as I was no longer working on those days.

I decided to take on board a suggestion given to me first time round which I initially dismissed. The suggestion was to wake up between an hour and a half to two hours early to studying before work. As a person who really likes her sleep, the thought of waking up at 5.30am to study before getting ready to go to work, was really difficult! I didn’t like the idea at all! I would rather sleep late and be up until 2 or 3 o' clock in the morning studying then wake up at 5.30am!!

However, when I thought about the benefits of doing this, I decided to do it. I had to be disciplined and go to sleep a little earlier than usual so that I had sufficient sleep. I mainly did this on the days that I worked in the office (which was Monday-Wednesday) because after work I knew I would only get a maximum of two to three hours of studying done, before my brain would want to retire for the night. I used the early mornings to revise notes and read through the text books and used the evenings to go through exam practice questions and review my answers (and make additional notes of the answers I got wrong so that I could revisit the topics).

This literally was my life for 10-12 weeks leading up to the exam! Study, work, church repeat.

I had already invested a lot of time and money into this and as I believed it was the path for me to take and succeed in, I had to see it through until the end and make the necessary sacrifices to achieve what I had initially set out to achieve.

My Journey to the New York Bar - Back to the Drawing Board

By the time I arrived back in England, I had already decided to re-sit the Multi-state Bar Exams in February 2017. I reasoned with myself that as I had just over two and a half months to study and prepare for the exams, if I had a good study plan and focused well, I would be alright! I knew I needed to 'up my game' and change my strategy to get the results I wanted, which was to pass the bar exams.

I contacted Bar Bri International so that I could re-enroll onto the bar review course. What I really like about Bar Bri is that if you enroll onto their bar review course for the first and you do not pass the exam, you can re-enrol for free! You're not required to go review all of the video lectures again (unless you want to) and you can just focus on reviewing the topics you want to. You also get access to the same support you had before. I didn't make use of the full video lectures this time as I had sufficient notes that I took first time around. But the short 'bite-size' review videos were great to refresh my memory on the substantive law.

I was assigned a new mentor and I was quite happy this time round as she was a great help and very approachable. I felt I could relate to her especially because she didn’t pass the bar first time and passed on her second attempt, and was therefore able to guide and support me through the process of resitting the bar exams. One of the things I was taught was just to focus on the substantive law that I didn’t know well. Don't look through what I already know but put all my focus on what I did not know well; the topics I knew I struggled to grasp and understand.

The New York State Board of Examiners allow you to request a copy of your exam papers and answers so that you can review them. I thought about requesting them to see which questions I got wrong so I knew where I need to improve. But as I was in the UK and it was drawing close to the Christmas holiday season, I didn’t know how long it would take for me to receive them and I didn’t want any delay. I knew very well the topics I struggled with leading up to the exam and what I needed to spend more time on.

I went through my old lecture and revision notes, as well as my answers to the practice multiple choice and essay questions I did before as they served as a good indicator of where I needed to focus. Constitutional law was first one on that list LOL. I don't know why but it was the subject I struggled with the most, followed by criminal procedure and evidence (with its many exceptions!)

 By this time I was well into my new role at work and decided to continue working 3 days a week so that I could have Thursday and Fridays free to study the whole day as well as weekends and weekday evenings on the days when I was working during the day.

 So my prep for the bar started on 11th November 2017...

My Journey to the New York Bar - Different Perspective

I flew to New York on Wednesday 2 November 2016 to sit the The Multistate Professional Responsibility Examination (MPRE) on Saturday 5 November. This exam relates to the professional conduct of lawyers and must be passed, along side the Multistate bar exam and the New York Law Exam, in order to be admitted as an attorney in New York.

I had barely studied for this exam because I was still nursing a tooth abscess that had turned into an infection and now had also affected my body so much, that my joints were in pain. I was constantly feeling feverish and unable to concentrate or sleep properly. I was still on antibiotics and taking pain relief, when it was time to fly to New York, but I had just got my mind back on focus and determined to see this journey through until the end.

I did a bit of studying during the 7 hour flight. In between studying, I watched the film Selma and cried so much LOL. I don't usually cry when watching films but this film touched me so much. I couldn't hold back the tears!!

When I arrived in New York, I used the three days I had left to study as hard as I could. I spent most of my time in the library and only went out for fresh air and to eat. When exam day came, I felt relatively well and ready for the exam. Whilst waiting in line outside of the exam venue, I started speaking to a young lady. She was telling me that one of her friends had recently qualified as a licensed attorney after failing the bar exam more than five times!

After I told the young lady about my recent experience of finding out that I didn't pass the bar exam, she told me that despite not passing, I did well to get passed the 200 mark because apparently, a lot of US law students have previously struggled to reach over 200 and get the marks needed to pass first time. The fact that I wasn't so far off from passing the exams, having only spend three and half months studying for the bar exam while working, I didn't do too bad! I had not thought of it in that way and speaking to her actually helped me to see the positive side of the results and having confidence to re-sit the exam in February 2017

I also did my own research,  I think as a way to console myself, and discovered that Michelle Obama, President Franklin Roosevelt, Hillary Clinton and John F. Kennedy did not pass the bar exam first time. Benjamin Cardozo who has a law school named after him in New York, failed first time! Reading these stories definitely helped to remind myself that I was not a failure nor did this have a reflection on my intellectual ability, but simply that I needed a better study strategy and to work harder.

 Anyway, back to the MPRE exam. I received the exam results about five weeks after sitting the exam and was happy to learn that I had passed the exam and scored a high mark too! This was definitely a confidence boost in preparing to re-sit the Bar Exam.

My Journey to the New York Bar - The Lesson

When it finally sunk in that I had not passed the most rigorous, intense and stressful exam ever, I thought to myself, I have two options; feel sorry for myself and give up or analyse where I went wrong and start preparing to resit the exam in February 2017. I chose the latter, bearing in mind I was due to fly to New York in just under 4 days time to sit the MPRE so not pursuing things further would really be a waste of my time and money.

I had the task of telling my parents, siblings and a few other people that I had not passed the bar exam. They had been waiting for my exam results too so I thought it was only right to let them know. My brother was surprised that I didn't pass and so was my mum. A friend of mine (though I know it was with good intention) commented that I should see if this is what God wants me to do. I knew deep down this was what I was meant to do and just because I did not pass first time, did not mean it was not for me.

 In life, we don't receive everything in the way we expect. There are things we will fail at multiple times until we reach where we want to be but through the process, we are forming resilience and maturing. Our character is being shaped and we are learning something (that's if we allow the experience to teach us).

 Sometimes we are not ready to receive what we want but through the process of waiting and working towards it, we are becoming the person we need to be. And when I look back, I see that's why I didn't pass.

 No way would I have been ready to achieve that level of success if I had passed first time. I probably would have become big headed boasting that I passed the New York Bar exam first time while living and working in the UK and only having 4 months to prepare for it.

 Although I was only 25 marks short of what I needed to pass the exams, I saw that my work and study ethic was quite lazy to be honest. I didn't take in all the tips and advice that were given to me throughout the course and leading up to the exam. Though I did make sacrifices, looking back there were things I didn't do because either I couldn't be bothered to do them or because it was too uncomfortable for me, such as waking up early in the morning to study before going to work and opting only to study in the evenings and weekends. 

There are different reasons why other people didn't pass but for me, I saw the reasons mentioned above were why I didn't pass. I only realised this when I did some soul searching, a self analysis and reflection of my journey so far.

 I knew that in order for me to be fully prepared to sit the exam again, I would need to up my game. I would need to have a completely different mindset, basically be the version of myself that I needed to be, to become a lawyer and not just a person with the potential to become a lawyer.

My Journey to the New York Bar - The Exam Results

A few months after sitting the bar exams in July, the anticipated day arrived… the exam results.

I had moments where I felt really anxious and fearful at the possibility of failing. To me, failure was not an option because I had invested too much time and money into this.  I had never experienced this level of anxiety over exam results. Not at school, college, university or waiting for my postgraduate exam results! Then again, the bar exam was a whole different ball game!

A week or so before the main bar exam results came out, I received my exam results for the New York Law Exam (NYLE) and failed by one mark! I couldn't believe it, just one mark away from passing. When I reflected on my attitude and the time I actually put into preparing for the NYLE, I honestly thought it would be a walk in the park and therefore I didn't dedicate as much study time to it as I should have. Even though it was an open book exam, I didn't really use my notes to double check my answers before submitting them. So this was definitely a knock back for my confidence especially as I was still waiting for the other exam results.

I had reached a point where I had to put the anxiety in God's hands and say to myself, ‘if I pass, then great, if not, it's not the end of the world!’ From the moment I did this, I had peace inside of me and I was no longer worried about my results. I started planning for the next one.

The Multistate Professional Responsibility Examination (MPRE) was coming up in November 2016 and I decided to book my place and flight ticket to sit the exam in New York. This was the third exam needed to qualify as an attorney in New York. All together there are three exams applicants to the New York Bar have to pass which are; 1) the two-day multistate bar exams 2) the New York Law exam 3) the MPRE.

By mid October I had my place confirmed and started studying for the MPRE. Bar Bri International sent me the booklet that contained all the materials needed for the exam. This one didn't look as difficult as the others and the recommendation given was to spend around 25 hours studying, which would be enough to pass. As I started to study for it, I developed a tooth abscess which was so painful I couldn't concentrate properly. My face started to swell up and the dentist prescribed me with antibiotics.

October 28, 2016, I was in bed feeling unwell. When I woke up around 8am, I checked my phone and saw a lot of WhatsApp notifications. They were from the Bar Bri Crew group chat created for those who were enrolled onto the home study programme for the bar exam. The exam results had been released!!! I quickly went to check my emails.

I opened the PDF document and starting reading though the opening sentence which read.. “You are hereby notified that you did not pass the New York State Bar Exam..” I became somewhat numb. I just sat on my bed staring at the document, then put my phone aside and lay flat on my back. I don't know if it was because I was feeling unwell at that time, but I had no reaction whatsoever at that moment. My heart didn't sink as I expected it to. I just laid there…

My Journey To the New York Bar - A week before the exams

July 20, 2016. The day I flew out to New York.

I flew out 6 days before day one of the exams so that I could have enough time to get over jet lag and put in some last minute revision.  The weeks leading up to the flight were pretty intense but the time had finally come.

I stayed in a predominantly Jewish area in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. It's only  in Brooklyn where I've personally encountered and communicated with orthodox Jews. You don't see them around where I live in the UK, but there's a Jewish community in London. I was quite intrigued to be honest and I personally found the Jewish people to be pleasantly polite. They are a close knit community and keep themselves to themselves.

During my one week stay in Crown Heights, I didn't feel unsafe at all. It's a quiet area with a consistent police presence. There was always police cars patrolling the area and at night time I saw why; the potential for others from neighboring communities to sell and deal drugs.

 I came across a family (behind me in the picture at the top) outside the apartment block I was staying in, selling water to cars sat in traffic. Even the children, one as young as 6 years old,  outside  hustling with their parents.

 There was a library less than 10 minutes walk. Brooklyn Public Library literally became my second home. I spent a lot of my time revising there. The library was always busy and full of different cultures and backgrounds.

I mostly spent my time in the African American library study room because it was also a quiet room. During one of my revision sessions, I noticed a number of kids doing different kinds of work in groups (see picture below). I spoke to one of the ladies who was tutoring the kids; a lovely retired teacher originally from the Caribbean who had studied in the UK before falling in love and moving to the US. She told me that she set up the study group a few years ago and runs these sessions in the evening during the week and at the weekends to help kids from disadvantaged backgrounds remain interested in education and improve their grades,  so that they can graduate from school. A high proportion of young males,  particularly in the black community drop out of high school.

 I found it pretty awesome that on such a hot day like it was (it was around 30 degrees celsius)  when those kids could have been spending the whole day playing outside, they took some hours of their day to attend the study session.

When I wasn't studying, I was going to the church services in Brooklyn, walking along Central Park or doing a bit and I mean - just a bit, of sight seeing.

 I was very fortunate, in fact blessed, to have a fellow Bar Bri International student, Samantha,  also staying in the Crown Heights area at the time of the exams.  In fact I became close to Samantha as we were preparing for the bar exams. She had just moved to London from South Africa after getting married and started studying for the Bar the same time as I did.

Thanks to Facebook and WhatsApp we kept in touch and helped each other out whenever we had a question or was confused about something. Sometimes we were confused together LOL. It was also nice to see a friendly and familiar face before and after both days of the exams. After the exams, we kept in touch and our paths would also cross again in New York later :)