My Journey to the New York Bar - The Lesson

When it finally sunk in that I had not passed the most rigorous, intense and stressful exam ever, I thought to myself, I have two options; feel sorry for myself and give up or analyse where I went wrong and start preparing to resit the exam in February 2017. I chose the latter, bearing in mind I was due to fly to New York in just under 4 days time to sit the MPRE so not pursuing things further would really be a waste of my time and money.

I had the task of telling my parents, siblings and a few other people that I had not passed the bar exam. They had been waiting for my exam results too so I thought it was only right to let them know. My brother was surprised that I didn't pass and so was my mum. A friend of mine (though I know it was with good intention) commented that I should see if this is what God wants me to do. I knew deep down this was what I was meant to do and just because I did not pass first time, did not mean it was not for me.

 In life, we don't receive everything in the way we expect. There are things we will fail at multiple times until we reach where we want to be but through the process, we are forming resilience and maturing. Our character is being shaped and we are learning something (that's if we allow the experience to teach us).

 Sometimes we are not ready to receive what we want but through the process of waiting and working towards it, we are becoming the person we need to be. And when I look back, I see that's why I didn't pass.

 No way would I have been ready to achieve that level of success if I had passed first time. I probably would have become big headed boasting that I passed the New York Bar exam first time while living and working in the UK and only having 4 months to prepare for it.

 Although I was only 25 marks short of what I needed to pass the exams, I saw that my work and study ethic was quite lazy to be honest. I didn't take in all the tips and advice that were given to me throughout the course and leading up to the exam. Though I did make sacrifices, looking back there were things I didn't do because either I couldn't be bothered to do them or because it was too uncomfortable for me, such as waking up early in the morning to study before going to work and opting only to study in the evenings and weekends. 

There are different reasons why other people didn't pass but for me, I saw the reasons mentioned above were why I didn't pass. I only realised this when I did some soul searching, a self analysis and reflection of my journey so far.

 I knew that in order for me to be fully prepared to sit the exam again, I would need to up my game. I would need to have a completely different mindset, basically be the version of myself that I needed to be, to become a lawyer and not just a person with the potential to become a lawyer.

My Journey to the New York Bar - The Exam Results

A few months after sitting the bar exams in July, the anticipated day arrived… the exam results.

I had moments where I felt really anxious and fearful at the possibility of failing. To me, failure was not an option because I had invested too much time and money into this.  I had never experienced this level of anxiety over exam results. Not at school, college, university or waiting for my postgraduate exam results! Then again, the bar exam was a whole different ball game!

A week or so before the main bar exam results came out, I received my exam results for the New York Law Exam (NYLE) and failed by one mark! I couldn't believe it, just one mark away from passing. When I reflected on my attitude and the time I actually put into preparing for the NYLE, I honestly thought it would be a walk in the park and therefore I didn't dedicate as much study time to it as I should have. Even though it was an open book exam, I didn't really use my notes to double check my answers before submitting them. So this was definitely a knock back for my confidence especially as I was still waiting for the other exam results.

I had reached a point where I had to put the anxiety in God's hands and say to myself, ‘if I pass, then great, if not, it's not the end of the world!’ From the moment I did this, I had peace inside of me and I was no longer worried about my results. I started planning for the next one.

The Multistate Professional Responsibility Examination (MPRE) was coming up in November 2016 and I decided to book my place and flight ticket to sit the exam in New York. This was the third exam needed to qualify as an attorney in New York. All together there are three exams applicants to the New York Bar have to pass which are; 1) the two-day multistate bar exams 2) the New York Law exam 3) the MPRE.

By mid October I had my place confirmed and started studying for the MPRE. Bar Bri International sent me the booklet that contained all the materials needed for the exam. This one didn't look as difficult as the others and the recommendation given was to spend around 25 hours studying, which would be enough to pass. As I started to study for it, I developed a tooth abscess which was so painful I couldn't concentrate properly. My face started to swell up and the dentist prescribed me with antibiotics.

October 28, 2016, I was in bed feeling unwell. When I woke up around 8am, I checked my phone and saw a lot of WhatsApp notifications. They were from the Bar Bri Crew group chat created for those who were enrolled onto the home study programme for the bar exam. The exam results had been released!!! I quickly went to check my emails.

I opened the PDF document and starting reading though the opening sentence which read.. “You are hereby notified that you did not pass the New York State Bar Exam..” I became somewhat numb. I just sat on my bed staring at the document, then put my phone aside and lay flat on my back. I don't know if it was because I was feeling unwell at that time, but I had no reaction whatsoever at that moment. My heart didn't sink as I expected it to. I just laid there…

My Journey To the New York Bar - A week before the exams

July 20, 2016. The day I flew out to New York.

I flew out 6 days before day one of the exams so that I could have enough time to get over jet lag and put in some last minute revision.  The weeks leading up to the flight were pretty intense but the time had finally come.

I stayed in a predominantly Jewish area in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. It's only  in Brooklyn where I've personally encountered and communicated with orthodox Jews. You don't see them around where I live in the UK, but there's a Jewish community in London. I was quite intrigued to be honest and I personally found the Jewish people to be pleasantly polite. They are a close knit community and keep themselves to themselves.

During my one week stay in Crown Heights, I didn't feel unsafe at all. It's a quiet area with a consistent police presence. There was always police cars patrolling the area and at night time I saw why; the potential for others from neighboring communities to sell and deal drugs.

 I came across a family (behind me in the picture at the top) outside the apartment block I was staying in, selling water to cars sat in traffic. Even the children, one as young as 6 years old,  outside  hustling with their parents.

 There was a library less than 10 minutes walk. Brooklyn Public Library literally became my second home. I spent a lot of my time revising there. The library was always busy and full of different cultures and backgrounds.

I mostly spent my time in the African American library study room because it was also a quiet room. During one of my revision sessions, I noticed a number of kids doing different kinds of work in groups (see picture below). I spoke to one of the ladies who was tutoring the kids; a lovely retired teacher originally from the Caribbean who had studied in the UK before falling in love and moving to the US. She told me that she set up the study group a few years ago and runs these sessions in the evening during the week and at the weekends to help kids from disadvantaged backgrounds remain interested in education and improve their grades,  so that they can graduate from school. A high proportion of young males,  particularly in the black community drop out of high school.

 I found it pretty awesome that on such a hot day like it was (it was around 30 degrees celsius)  when those kids could have been spending the whole day playing outside, they took some hours of their day to attend the study session.

When I wasn't studying, I was going to the church services in Brooklyn, walking along Central Park or doing a bit and I mean - just a bit, of sight seeing.

 I was very fortunate, in fact blessed, to have a fellow Bar Bri International student, Samantha,  also staying in the Crown Heights area at the time of the exams.  In fact I became close to Samantha as we were preparing for the bar exams. She had just moved to London from South Africa after getting married and started studying for the Bar the same time as I did.

Thanks to Facebook and WhatsApp we kept in touch and helped each other out whenever we had a question or was confused about something. Sometimes we were confused together LOL. It was also nice to see a friendly and familiar face before and after both days of the exams. After the exams, we kept in touch and our paths would also cross again in New York later :)

My Journey to the New York Bar - The Realization

For those of us who were preparing to sit the exams in July 2016, there was a simulated MBE exam booked for Saturday 7th May. I opted to do this at home instead of traveling to London,  which those of us doing the home study program could do,  as long we set aside undisturbed time, set a timer and sat the Simulated MBE (3 hours for 100 questions in the morning, and the same in the afternoon).

The practice exam was a good early indicator of our progress with the materials already studied and a learning experience for the real exam which was 9 weeks away.

I remember being told that getting 100 out of 200 questions correct would be a satisfactory score on the Simulated MBE at this stage. So, when I didn't reach at least 100,  I did feel as though I was still behind and  thought, 'would I be able to catch up?'

I thought that I would have the rest of May, the whole of June and part of July to focus on the areas of law I was struggling with; to get a sound understanding of the substantive law and improve my scores. But by the end of May, we had only just finished the 7 core areas of law for the MBE exam, which is the multiple choice questions. We still had a further 5 areas of law to cover for the MEE exam, which is the essay part. And never mind the MPT section that I still had to learn LOL.

I really don't know why or how I didn't realize that we still had to do this...I remember thinking to myself, 'i've still got to learn about family and matrimonial law, wills and trusts, corporations, agency, partnership and security interests, 7 weeks before the exam  and still grasp contracts, real property, constitutional law, evidence, torts, criminal law and procedure!!'

In all honesty,  I had not fully understood how much I was actually required to know or study for this exam until now. At the beginning,  I just jumped at the opportunity to do this as a 'now or never' opportunity because I had postponed it several times before and didn't want to postpone it any longer.  Maybe if I had allowed more time to think about what I was actually getting myself into, I may have been put off by it all and not gone for it! 

Well, I only had 7 weeks to do whatever I had to do to make sure I was ready for the exam and to pass. By the end of June, we had covered all the subjects for the bar exam and we had a full day mock exam on the first Saturday of July,  which I attended in London. 

With the actual exam 3 weeks away, I really wanted to see how much I really knew and how much I still needed to know for the exam. I did better than I did on the simulated exam in May but I felt like I still had so much more to learn. 

By then I was only working 22.5 hours a week so I had an extra day and a half to study! The time went so fast and before I knew it,  I was flying to New York to sit the exam! 

My Journey to the New York Bar - Serious Doubts

Six weeks into the bar review course (which was mid April), I was starting to have serious doubts about whether I was ready for the exams in July. I felt pressure because in order to sit the July exams, we had to submit our completed application by April 30, and pay the $750 fee as well. I had already invested a lot of money to join the course, so was I really prepared to spend a further $750 to apply to sit the exam as well as put money aside for flights and accommodation for the July exam?

I had a catch up call with the mentor that Bar Bri International had assigned to me. The call was helpful to some extent, she encouraged me keep doing the practice questions and learn the substantive law. But honestly, it did not erase the doubts I had at the back of my head. I was really struggling with Constitutional law, Real Property and Torts which were 3 of the main subjects to appear on the exam without a doubt and my scores on the practice questions for these subjects were relatively low. But, because I had been waiting for this opportunity for so long and had already got this far, I decided to apply to sit the exam.

I reasoned with myself that as my working hours were going to be reduced from 30 hours to 22.5 hours a week closer to the exam dates and I still had 10 weeks before I flew out to New York to sit the exam, I could do it! I had no choice but to believe right? All the sacrifices I had make surely would not be in vain right? What did I have to lose? Not sitting the exam would cost me £500 to defer until the following year which was around the same amount as paying the fees to sit the exam when converting into British Sterling so either way my pocket would be a little lighter! At least I got a little trip to New York choosing to sit the exam LOL!

By this time I had not even heard back from the New York State Board of Examiners about my eligibility to sit the exam, so it was a bit of a gamble but I was advised that once I had applied, they would probably respond quickly about my eligibility and they did!

Following the application to sit the exam and eligibility confirmed, I had the task of finding a notary public to attest to my handwriting sample that had to be sworn and sent back to the Board of Examiners. There are not many in my city and the one I found wanted to charge a rate that I felt was extortionate just for me to write a few lines in front of them! LOL! I was able to find a solicitor close to my workplace who charged more the half the price!

Now that all the administrative stuff had been sorted out, it was back to books..focusing most of my time outside working hours and weekends to study.

My Journey to the New York Bar - My Own Cheerleader

When the bar review course started, an email was sent to all those who had enrolled on to the home program, encouraging us to set up a Facebook group and/or a WhatsApp group for us to keep in touch with one another and provide support while we were preparing to sit the exams in a few months.

It was not the first time I had chosen a home study program, but it was the first time doing one on this level, having invested a lot of time and money into it and studying the law of another country! I knew I needed extra support and I was happy this was being offered. It was great to know there were others I could reach out too when I needed help with my studies and to just talk about what we were doing...and I did. The group was so diverse with candidates from different parts of the world...the UK, Poland, South Africa, Dubai, Belgium, Bahrain, Lebanon, Mozambique (that's all I can remember).

I joined the gym on Good Friday too. I remember watching one of the introduction videos for the course and one of the speakers mentioned that we should have enough time to rest; make sure we ate well and exercised regularly to help us prepare for the exam.  During my time studying for the exams, the gym was my 'go-to place' to escape when I had done hours of revision and needed to give my mind a rest and unwind. When I was feeling frustrated that I was not understanding what I was reading. I went 3-4 times a week and it was refreshing. Also, I had stopped all extra curriculum activities and things I used to do to keep busy; to invest more in my studies. So, going to the gym was one of the only few things I was doing, a part from working, studying and going to church!

Although I had a new virtual support network through the WhatsApp and Facebook group, it was just that...virtual. Physically speaking, I did not have a study partner or anybody around me to share my journey with,  have lengthy conversations about what I was learning, struggling with etc, because it seemed like they would not understand. But that was the beauty of it all. It was MY journey! It was not meant to be lived or shared with or for anybody else. It is something I had to do for me and grow personally and professionally through it!

So, I became my own best friend! My own cheerleader and motivator on the days when I did not feel like revising, or when I did not get the results I expected! I invested more in my relationship with myself and with God through this!

My Journey to the New York Bar: The Slight Hiccup at the Beginning

Once I had enrolled onto the 4 month Bar Review Course and received the course materials and books through the post, I was excited to officially start my journey to becoming a New York Attorney. 

I had more or less organised my time which was to work 30 hours a week (Monday to Thursday) and dedicate Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays to review the pre-recorded lectures and work through the study plan provided by Bar Bri International. I was fortunate that my managers at work were flexible and allowed me to cut my hours down and not work on Fridays. 

The course started on Friday 4th of March at 6.30pm and I was so ready for it....until I started to feel unwell and experience chest pains. During the day, I felt so bad I had to go to the walk-in health centre to get checked out and ended up spending a few hours in the waiting room, waiting to be checked out. I was told I had strained a muscle near my chest that's why I was in pain and I needed to avoid movement for a few days. I didn't leave the medical centre until after 8pm and on my way home I found a very drunk lady on the street with vomit all over and in need of help. As we called for an ambulance she stood up and walked into the middle of the road and laid flat on the floor to sleep! This caused a fleet of cars to line up behind her because she was blocking a very busy road and me and 3 other passers by kept trying to get her off the floor but she wouldn't budge! One of drivers came out to see what was happening and was surprised to find out that that the lady was her neighbour! She managed to get her up and take her home! I'm glad she got home safely. An eventful day!

Going back...this was not the start I planned and I had to play catch up with the few days I missed to rest. I also had a lot of adjusting to do, becoming a student again and juggling work and knew I had to put aside things that were not a priority, to invest more time into my studies. 

One of the first things I did was contact those closest to me to explain to them that for the coming months, I would not be as available to do things, meet up and even socialise as I usually was because I would be concentrating on my studies. I asked them to be considerate and to bear with me. It helped so that those around me wouldn't expect too much from me! 

Choosing the home program was ideal for me because of my work schedule and distance from London...but it also feel somewhat lonely because I would be doing this alone, without anyone to consult or feedback too (apart from the tutors). This is what I thought until I received an email from one of the course leaders....