My Journey to the New York Bar - Confronted by a stranger

At the beginning of January 2016, I took the day off work and went to London to attend an open day held by BarBri International. Although I had already decided to enroll onto BarBri's U.S bar review course starting in March that year, I wanted to meet some of the course tutors, mentors and other students to get more of an insight into what I had chosen to do.

The open day was very informative and I left knowing that this was exactly what I wanted to do. As I had a bit of time to spare before traveling back to Nottingham, I decided to sit in Cafe Nero and treat myself to a hot chocolate and some cake. Needless to say, in the end I did not get the chance to enjoy the hot chocolate because an inconsiderate stranger intruded on my quiet time!

As I started sipping into the hot chocolate and began reading the literature given to me at the open day, a gentleman sat next to me noticed it and asked me about it. He mentioned that he was a qualified lawyer in England and without using any functioning brain cells linked to awareness, intelligence, empathy and consideration (or maybe not), he said to me "but you have a stammer, why would you want to sit the New York Bar, it's tough." (I guessed he picked up on the stammer during the conversation).

My eyebrows rose up so high and I had to think twice about the ignorant comments I had just heard! I was in disbelief! He kept commenting (as if he was on repeat mode) how someone "like me" should focus more on jobs where I would be more comfortable and where I would not need to speak much because doing the bar exam was overly ambitious and setting myself up for difficulties.

I don't know why I allowed him to keep talking, but when I had heard enough, I abruptly told him to stop talking because I didn't want to hear anymore of his negative comments. When he tried to explain his points of view further by telling me he was only thinking about me (haha yeah right!), I cut him off! I knew exactly what was behind all of this and I was not going to let the negative words infiltrate inside of me to make me question or doubt what I had decided to pursue!

I reminded him that he should be careful about making such comments and not to judge my intellectual and academic ability because of the way I speak. There are lawyers at partner level in law firms who are deaf, some deaf and mute, others who are blind and communicate through an assistant, but their disabilities do not impede from doing their job.

My quest to keep this as private as possible to avoid such situations, still did not impede it from taking place and this is how things are in life. No matter what we do or do not do, they will always be someone who will have something to say. But when we know who we are, what we are doing and why we are doing it, other peoples' comments will not deter us from our goal; in fact it will add more fuel to the fire that is already burning inside of us to keep going, keep pursing, to show to others it can be done! And that is what I did!

I was tired of being put into a box and shoved in the corner. At 27 years old, I decided enough was enough. I should be allowed to pursue what I have faith to pursue, even if I did not meet the status quo. That's what faith is for....to move mountains, jump over hurdles, and break down barriers!

I found the picture I took on the day, of the hot chocolate I did't get to enjoy lol

My Journey to the New York Bar - That pivotal moment

I'm going to take you back to 2014 which was the pivotal moment where my vision opened and my career started to steer in another direction.

During that year I was very dissatisfied with my career. I had already recovered from certain personal issues I had experienced, finally got a decent paying full time job and had a regular steady income to pay my rent, bills and daily expenses and even travel. But I felt restricted. I was dissatisfied because I knew there was more to me and for me than this. I'm not knocking the job or company I was working for at the time, but I reasoned with myself that I didn't go to university, study law and even train as a paralegal just to do admin work.

Although I was paralegaling on the side, it still wasn't enough for me. But I didn't know what to do or where to go. I knew that I didn't want to go back to law school and resume the Legal Practice Course (LPC), which is the course you take before becoming a trainee solicitor in England and Wales, because the course fees were so expensive, around £10,000. I previously had to leave the LPC  half way through due to experiencing homelessness and I was not in a good way emotionally. I was 'ready' to go back and finish what I started, but at the same it was not what I wanted anymore. I was also finding it hard to get a full time job as a paralegal because whenever I had interviews I would be questioned about having a stammer and they (not me) saw it as an impediment for me to work directly with clients; even though I had previously worked in a call centre and as an advisor, and had no issues with that.

So I started paralegaling independently. I found my own clients which were charities, organisations, businesses and individuals. Still it wasn't enough for me. I remember during that year I did a lot of "soul searching". I spent a lot of time alone, figuring out who I was, what I liked, what I was good at and what I wanted.

I would spend time alone at the park, go for walks (this is where my love for nature was awakened), spend time researching online. I was really seeking what to do to. I had a mentor at the time and she is the one who helped me to develop my relationship with God and be defined in my faith because both would be crucial in establishing true happiness, being stable emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially and in all aspects of my life really.

It was June 2014 and I had reached a point where I was ready for a change. I didn't know what exactly but I wanted a change. I remember speaking to God saying that I wanted Him to do something new in me and in my life. I wanted new things. I wasn't specific because I didn't know what to ask for but it's like I just gave everything to Him, in words and in deeds. I was always seeking what to do and one morning while I was cleaning a house (I used to do house cleaning at the weekends to make extra money), I heard the words "redeem the time because the days are evil", while listening to an audio message, which caught my attention. I even remember the room and what part I was cleaning, until this day lol.

After listening to the message I started thinking about what this meant for me and how I could do this.... It was then that an opportunity I had been given but gave up during my second year at university, came to mind....It was now time for me to redeem the time and go back and do that very thing...

Sibs Speech - The Most Challenging Letters of the Alphabet

There are certain letters of the alphabet that are a real challenge for me and which I struggle to pronounce which I share in this video. I also share  self help techniques and methods that help me to release the word and to flow better.