Words of Encouragement for People Who Stammer

I've come across certain comments from young people who have a speech impediment, expressing thoughts and feelings of frustration, low self esteem and depression that prompted me to record this message this evening. 

It just shows how much investment is needed to inject positivity into our community, especially to those who feel fed up and isolated. #breakingsterotypes

Sibs Speech - The Most Challenging Letters of the Alphabet

There are certain letters of the alphabet that are a real challenge for me and which I struggle to pronounce which I share in this video. I also share  self help techniques and methods that help me to release the word and to flow better.

 

Sibs Speech - Introduction to Living with a Speech Impediment Series

Hello! I'm excited to introduce a new series i'm starting which is all about life as a stammerer.

I have a speech impediment, stammer, stutter, whatever you want to call it and before it was something I was really embarrassed about and hid behind it. I would avoid speaking as much as possible because I was afraid that people would laugh at me and not understand me. I had many insecurities.

 Today, I have found freedom from all the complexes and insecurities that once paralyzed me internally and my outlook on life and on my stammer has completely changed. I still stammer, sometimes really badly but it doesn't stop me from doing what I want to do.

Waking Up Early - Running the Day

One of the things I have been doing differently since the New Year started is waking up early. I aim to wake up between 4am and 5am during the week and at the weekends between 5.30 or 6.30am.

Lately, I have been studying the good habits and traits of successful people and one of the essential habits they have is waking up early before sunrise. While the rest of the world is asleep, some of the world’s richest and most successful CEO’s and influential people are waking up between 3am and 5am to start their working day.

At first it was drag. It was so difficult. In December, I tried it a few times but I was not consistent. However, as I have goals that I want to achieve, dreams I want to realize, projects and ideas I want to develop, as well as working in an office for my employer for the first 3 days of the week, studying in between those days (usually before and after work) and studying  8-10 hours a day on Thursday Friday and Saturdays in preparation for upcoming exams,  I am trying to fit everything in without compromising my studies (which is the most important right now).  In fact, there are some things I have to postpone for now until my exams are over! But I’ve still got to have an income right? I’ve still got bills and living expenses to pay. So rather than being so overwhelmed with everything and complaining that there is not enough time, I decided to wake up early.

My working pattern is quite flexible and I can start work in the office anytime between 8.30am and 10am. At the moment I prefer to start work at either 9am or 10am. On the days I am in the office, I tend to wake up at 4am; spend 30 minutes on Bible mediation and prayer, then check emails, do follow ups for my business and other related tasks for an hour and a half. I then spend between an hour and half to two hours studying before getting ready and setting off for work. After work I spend the majority of my time studying in between preparing my dinner and before I go to sleep.  

When I am not at work,  on Thursdays to Saturdays,  I use that time to do more work on my business and projects, catch-up with people and spend between 8-10 hours studying during the day. On Sundays I do around 4 hours studying in the afternoon after church, catch up with my family and sleep really early. Last Sunday I was in bed by 7pm LOL. I was super tired!

This is just an insight into how I have adopted the habit of waking up early to have a productive day. Its early days yet as I have only been doing this since the beginning of the year but it’s been beneficial so far.

I have learned I cannot complain there is not enough time to get things done. The problem is more about being wise with our time, managing it and making necessary sacrifices to get the work done.

Style Speaks

I came across this quote a year ago and I totally agree with it. The way we dress shows our personality. We can attract people to give us attention or take us seriously (in a professional setting for example) just by our appearance.

That's why it's important to invest in this part of who we are. I'm always looking for ways to update my look. As I develop and grow as a person, so does the way I dress. For example, when I was very insecure and didn't care about myself, it showed in the way I took care of myself. But when I started to love myself and gain confidence, I started to invest in my appearance and started to become hold and creative in my style.

I like searching on Pinterest, fashion blogs and websites to get ideas. I know not everything I see is for me due to my body shape, skin tone, age, height etc.., but from looking around and trying different things, I get to see what suits me and what doesn't.

At the moment I'm following Pop Sugar's style hacking challenge and it's been very interesting. I've tried new styles and I've definitely become more creative. Each night I can spend 30-45 minutes just trying different outfits and figuring out what I'm going to wear the next day.

However, more than making an effort with my appearance and wanting to look pretty, is making sure I put double the effort into developing my inner self. Working on ensuring I'm just as 'pretty'  inside than outside. That my heart is not habouring a resentment or grudge towards anyone. Double checking I'm not putting myself down and allowing doubts, fears and complexes that try to creep to influence me in a negative way. Nor becoming proud, thinking that I am better than others or doing things to show off and do people.

 We can we wear the most stunning outfit and look our utmost best but if we have these things lingering within us and they manifest through out facial expressions, the words that come out of our mouth, our attitudes or actions, all that outward beauty will not compensate for the ugly traits inside.

That's why working on our inner beauty is paramount, in fact I believe it deserves more care and attention than the outer beauty because as we start to invest in becoming beautiful inside, it naturally shines through and is evident outside, through the way we smile, look and treat people.

My reflection of 2016

As we are drawing towards the end of 2016, it’s a time many (including myself) use to reflect on the year. I participated in a meeting last week were we were asked, "has 2016 been an excellent year for you? How are you ending this year?"

Automatically my thoughts went to all the things I did not achieve; like not passing one of the required exams needed to qualify as a US attorney; the multistate bar exam. However, God shifted my mind to think about the way I reacted when I received my results. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, dwelling in self-pity, crying, being overly upset etc, I reacted positively. 

Of course I was disappointed at first because I spent a lot of money, time and effort into the course and travelling to the States from the UK to sit the two-day exam, but I looked at it as a learning curve, an opportunity to see where I went wrong and work on developing my exam preparation strategies and applying myself even more so I can pass next time.

It was my first attempt, having only 5 months to prepare for the exam in the UK, learning the law of a foreign country that is different to mine and still working full time for most of the time leading up to the exam. The score I got was not far from passing, so I just needed that extra bit.

Before I received my results, I was actually afraid to fail this exam.  I was so anxious and constantly praying that I wouldn't fail because I did not know how I would react. I don’t usually fail when it comes to exams, in fact I only recall failing one exam at university. But a week before the results came out, I let it go. I let the fear and anxiety go and decided I would deal positively with the result no matter what it was. Failure does not mean I AM a failure, but that I just have to do better and work harder.

This year I saw that I matured as a person. I matured in the face of adversity, when dealing with bad news, not always getting what I want, how I want and in other things which made this year an excellent one for me. I say this because the way we respond to things and decide to look at them, impacts on our future and how things will eventually turn out. I became more determined, not giving up at the first hurdle or obstacle and finally after so long, I found myself, through investing more in me and loving who I am becoming.

So no, I did not achieve all the goals that I set out to achieve but the change inside of me, the changed mind-set and the way I do things, made it a great year for me. The lessons learned, the experiences I faced and overcame has shaped me into a better person and I look forward to what 2017 brings because 2016 was like training ground.

“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

P.S, I received my exam results today for one of required exams I needed to qualify as a US attorney and I passed. I was so happy and it’s like that added motivation and confidence to go into 2017 and smash the multistate bar exam!

Making time for ourselves

In order to invest in ourselves, we have to make time for US! Proper time to get to know ourselves. Today I did just that.

I made time to write 27 qualities, yes 27 qualities, that I possess. It's something I did a few years ago, which was actually an initiative given to us in the Godllywood, which is a group at my church which works exclusively with women.

I was getting ready this morning and it came to my mind to do it again, so on my commute to work l, started my list.

 At the beginning, I found it quite hard (ironic how we can quickly find faults but not good points), but after number 8, qualities were popping up like popcorn lol.

By knowing my qualities, I know myself and can work on developing them to become better.

I decided to take time out at lunchtime and have a good walk along the canal to reflect on my qualities and think of ways to develop them further.

Rather than just always looking at other people or looking at ourselves through their eyes, dwelling on our flaws, what we don't have or who we haven't yet become,  we should focus on and nurture the good qualities we  already have, which will inevitably  help us to grow and eventually we'll acquire more qualities and become the person we've always wanted to be.